The Paradox of Judgment and Love!

A good friend of mine recently asked, “Is it possible to have a relationship that is truly caring and loving, when you believe deep down that the person is going to be subjected to God's wrath and punishment, eternally?” (see footnote 1) Implicit in this question is the statement that judging or passing judgment on someone is intrinsically wrong and unethical. Before we try to answer the above question, we need to understand what it means to judge and if it is right for a person to judge another?

Merriam Webster says judgment is "the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing" and "judgment implies sense tempered and refined by experience, training and maturity." In other words, it is the ability to evaluate and form an opinion (on something or someone) based on one's knowledge, experience and maturity. That knowledge could have a factual or logical base arising from one or more accepted sources of epistemology; perhaps a valid inference, timeless experience, intelligent reasoning or verbal testimony. The word “Judgment” over a period of time has become tainted with a negative connotation. However based on the definition of the word, I would like to call it “Informed Opinion.” It might sound too simplistic but I believe the phrase does capture the essence of the word.

When I see this rectangular object in front of me, that displays almost immediately what I type on my keyboard, based on my knowledge of computers and my visual experience I make a judgment or an informed opinion that this object is a visual display unit that is attached to the computer that I am using. When a person visits the doctor for a Physical Exam, the doctor - based on his knowledge of the human anatomy and his training in pathology– makes a judgment on the patient’s physical condition and provides needed medical advice. Judgment is the ability to evaluate and form an opinion based on one's knowledge, experience and maturity; and it happens everyday in almost every circumstance of life. In fact, in our world today, one cannot sustain oneself for long without making judgments. It is an accepted fact of life, consciously or involuntarily, by every human being.

The Judgment relevant to our discussion pertains to one’s eternal destiny. A Christian who believes in the authority of the Bible affirms that a person needs to accept Christ as Savior in order to be saved eternally, and a rejection of the Savior would lead to eternal punishment. The Christian, based on his primary source of doctrinal knowledge – the testimony of Scripture - formulates an informed opinion on a person’s (himself included) eternal destiny. And the Christian is well within his epistemic rights in doing so. There is nothing un-Christian or unethical (as long as his opinion does not violate a person’s rights) about this. The judgment or opinion of the Christian may not be accepted by every human being, but that does not make it invalid or any less truthful.

From that original question stems another thought-provoker. When I believe that a person is heading toward eternal punishment, I am in a way indicting that person; furthermore if I continue to live as if I don't possess that knowledge, then is that relationship truly caring and loving?

Consider the example of a mother-child relationship. When a young child errs, frequently the mother corrects him or her. In this situation, the mother is essentially committing two acts:

(1) Passing a judgment on the child's behavior or act (2) Taking actions to correct the child. It is the first act that leads to the second. Using her motherly wisdom and knowledge, she identifies her child's act as a wrongdoing, which if left unchecked, would lead to further detriment in the child's character and possibly harm the child. Based on this judgment, she makes the decision to act; hence she corrects the child - sometimes through gentle advising and at other times through slightly harsher means - in order to steer the child to the right course. In this case, is it wrong for the mother to judge her child's behavior? Is it incorrect to have an informed opinion?

The mother’s judgment of the child’s behavior does not in any way negate her love for the child. Through correction she preserves the child from further wrong-doing and potentially harmful consequences. The mother’s judgment and action are justified because of her motive - love and concern for her child’s welfare (see footnote 2). And when the motive of a Christian believer is love and concern for a fellow human being’s welfare -in this case, eternal welfare- it is certainly possible for that believer to have a loving and caring relationship with another who might be heading toward eternal perdition. And more than once have I come across Christians - truly committed to the cause of the gospel - nurturing loving and caring relationships with non-Christians as their “first-rung-in-the-ladder” effort in fulfilling the Great Mandate (see footnote 3).

In closing here’s something to mull over: Why are Christians (myself included), who submit to the authority of the Scriptures, possessing true understanding of what awaits non-believers, not proactive in evangelizing?

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Footnotes

1. The wrath of God, eternal punishment and personal salvation have direct reference to the biblical teaching on these subjects -The acceptance of Christ as Savior and Lord is imperative for one’s eternal salvation.

2. Does that mean that the End justifies the Means? The answer to that is an emphatic “No.” This argument does not imply that. On the contrary, as discussed above, when a Christian exercises judgment or has an informed opinion on someone’s eternal destiny based on Scriptural testimony in which he does not violate another’s rights, it is not an unethical exercise. Also, the analogy here is to explain a believer-nonbeliever relationship that is loving and caring. So, here we are talking about an activity that follows purely ethical means.

3. Matthew 28:18-20